Now, I haven't really said anything on Hurricane Katrina and Hurricane Ruth. This is because I feel really out of place saying something. I live in upstate New York in a quiet town and have virtually no problems. I get my cigarettes really cheap from the res an hour away. My gas is pretty cheap compared to other people, and rent is rediculously cheap. Who am I to say anything about the horrors going one down state? Anything I said would be condescending. However, I have found something that I really need to say.
Obviously Hollywood is going to help out. It always does and we thank you, but there are some winners and losers I believe. I could get an ass kicking for some of the things I am about to say, but frankly, I don't care. Presenting, the winners and losers of the Gulf Hurricanes (as noted in Star Magazine, so it may not all be true, but they are trying to make this article a good thing and I never see people suing magazine's for complimentary articles.
The Winners
Sean Penn and Harry Connick Jr.
- You boys physically got in the mess and dug people out. You rock.
John Travolta and Kelly Preston
- Nice job flying five tons of food and 400 tetanus shots on your own jet. That is being pro-active.
Shaquile O'Neal
- Much respect for loading a truck with supplies.
Paul Simon
- If Biloxi wont come to Paul Simon, Paul Simon will go to Biloxi with two mobile medical stations.
The Losers
Kitchen Confidential Cast and Crew
- You only raised $1,000 at your premiere party? OK, yeah, it is great that you tried but you could only get $1,000??? My small town church raised $7,000 at the 10:00 mass and we make small town wages. You get a Hollywood paycheck and you only raised $1,000? If I was making close to the money you make (I currently am making 8 an hour) I would myself donate a couple g's. So you have to do without a few luxuries. Big deal. They have to do without homes.
Oprah Winfrey
- Good job praying. You are worth a billion dollars and you pray. Nice.
Kanye West
- You still suck. I don't think I have to go into that. Everyone knows what I'm talking about.
In the Middle
Any celebrity raising awareness on a telethon.
- OK, so you are giving up a night of your life and speaking out on behalf. You know what did a better job of making me donate? The levies colapsing in Ruth. So you did the telethon thing, great, but at the same time, I would love to know how much you donated during this telethon yourselves. Still better than some.
Will and Jada Smith, Jamie Foxx and Chris Rock
- You also got your hands dirty, which I give you much love for when you handed out supplies at the Astrodome, however, what are they supposed to do with your autograph? Sell it on ebay for enough money to buy themselves a house in a less treacherous place on the planet? Well, if that was the idea, then I might consider moving y'all over to the Winners side. If you want to contact the little contact me link at the bottom of the page and tell me that yourselves, I'll do it.
Also, here are a few people offering monitary support in accordance with their paychecks:
George Clooney, Celine Dion, Nicolas cage, Diddy, Jay-Z and Steven Speilberg.
If anyone knows of any more celebrities that belong on any of these lists, please reply so they can get either a handshake, a pat on the back or a slap upside the head.
