ONEMANBANDWIDTH
"An American Professor in China"

Nonsensical Flounderings
"Carolyn is American, Mik is English, living in Seattle USA. Just our inane mumblings, meanderings and observations on life, love and any other topic that takes our fancy."

Idiot on a Stick
"I also don't feel a need to give myself a label. You won't find it written that I'm a bitch, or a phobic, or a nutcase. If you read this blog, you'll soon decide what you think for yourself."

The Monaco Manifesto
"Manifesto: A written statement declaring publically the intentions, motives and views of its issuer."

Now he is in the hospital. The man who left the hospital as soon as the drugs wore off after his hernia operation is laid up in bed with all sorts of tubes coming out of his body with pneumonia. And I am scared. For the first time in my life I’ve been hit with the realization that my Daddy is not Superman – no matter how firm my belief that he is may be. That is terrifying.

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked..... And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, he man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

 ******A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

Please also check out my other BlogExplosion bidders. They are all so original, and all so well put together, these are the reason I chose the first on the list!

• Reflections in the Mirror
• Haunted House Dressing
• Backwood Bob's Blog

- The Fisher King

When I was watching The Fisher King (starring Robin Williams, Jeff Bridges, Mercedes Ruehl and Amanda Plumme) I was struck by these lines. Richard LaGravenese has hit the nail on the head. For those enough that are sentimental enough to wait for some kind of emotional attachment before sleeping with someone this is why - because this is how we feel when things are different after sharing something like sex.

I don't mean a one night stand you picked up in a bar - I mean after a few dates, or maybe even just one, given the time to get to know someone we lend ourselves to our hearts, and if we feel an emotional connection, we go with it - falling in love doesn't "just happen" we let it happen when we feel safe.

Recently I went through something like this - not exactly like this, there was no sleeping over, but there were some very intense conversations, and I'm not saying I fell inlove, I am saying I was starting to feel safe enough to let myself be open to the idea - and alas, I never heard from him again. I didn't say anything that would scare anyone off, I just talked - about his life, about my life, about my experiences, about his. And I was starting to let down the wall...and now the wall will stay up, and I don't know if it will ever come down again.

Here's the thing you see - if he didn't want to ever speak to me again then he should have told me. Be honest and up front with me, and I can take that - be mysterious and fade out without so much as a word and then I will have trouble.