You don't have to say that. No, I mean you don't have to say nice things to me. It's old-fashioned, considering what we're about to do. You're walking me home. I think you're a little attracted to me. And you'll probably want to come upstairs for some coffee. Then we'll probably have a drink. And talk and get to know each other...a little better, get comfortable. And then you'll...you'll sleep over. And in the morning, you'll awake...and you'll be distant. And you won't be able to stay for breakfast. Maybe just a cup of coffee. And then...we'll exchange phone numbers. And you'll leave...and never call. And I'll go to work and I'll feel so good...for the first hour, and then...ever so slowly, I'll turn into a piece of dirt. I don't know why I'm putting myself through this.
- The Fisher King
When I was watching The Fisher King (starring Robin Williams, Jeff Bridges, Mercedes Ruehl and Amanda Plumme) I was struck by these lines. Richard LaGravenese has hit the nail on the head. For those enough that are sentimental enough to wait for some kind of emotional attachment before sleeping with someone this is why - because this is how we feel when things are different after sharing something like sex.
I don't mean a one night stand you picked up in a bar - I mean after a few dates, or maybe even just one, given the time to get to know someone we lend ourselves to our hearts, and if we feel an emotional connection, we go with it - falling in love doesn't "just happen" we let it happen when we feel safe.
Recently I went through something like this - not exactly like this, there was no sleeping over, but there were some very intense conversations, and I'm not saying I fell inlove, I am saying I was starting to feel safe enough to let myself be open to the idea - and alas, I never heard from him again. I didn't say anything that would scare anyone off, I just talked - about his life, about my life, about my experiences, about his. And I was starting to let down the wall...and now the wall will stay up, and I don't know if it will ever come down again.
Here's the thing you see - if he didn't want to ever speak to me again then he should have told me. Be honest and up front with me, and I can take that - be mysterious and fade out without so much as a word and then I will have trouble.

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