When people hear BDSM, they think whips, chins and orders. They think of someone who believes they are better, stronger and more powerful than the other, and the other person is a doorstop. This is not an accurate depiction of any healthy D/s relationship.

A healthy D/s relationship is one in which two people are equal partners, and have boundaries and positions entirely individual of one another, there is no room for ambiguity. One person has one role, the other has the opposite. It is yin and yang, however, just because the Dominant is in complete control of the submissive does not mean there is any lack of respect, and it doesn't mean that one person gives and one person recieves, it just makes it that much more special when the reciever gives. They aren't giving because "it is fair" they are giving because they want to. That is a beautiful thing.

It is a beautiful thing to be able to feel complete and utter trust in someone, to know that they wont put you in any kind of danger even though they are in a position to. It is daily affirmation of love.

Another beautiful thing is the fact that the Dom/me is in the position to exploe the boundaries of the sub. Those boundaries are physical, emotional and spiritual. Imagine knowing someone so well you know exactly what they are capable of. It is a sign of awesome respect and tremendous faith.

And then there is the fact that the sub is the one to say stop. The sub serves because the sub wants to serve, and if, per chance they are uncomfortable they say stop (in the form of a safeowrd) and it stops, right then and there, no questions asked. So while the Dom/me pushes the boundaries, the sub is truly in control.

This is what BDSM means to me. It is not entirely sexual. It is the way i chose to live my entire life. It is what i am looking for in a man. i am looking to be completed...